Monday, April 7, 2025

How Groups Bring Out the Best (and Worst) in Us

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How Groups Bring Out the Best (and Worst) in Us

Joel Wade, Special Contributor, The Oxford Club

Joel Wade

"Like I always say, there's no 'I' in team. There's a 'me' though, if you jumble it up."

- Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House

One of the essential qualities that makes us human is our ability to work together in groups. Understanding how to bring out our best within a group can make the difference between success and failure - personally, professionally, and financially.

You see it in sports teams, musical ensembles, and business teams. When highly skilled individuals bring their best and cooperate, they create a level of excellence that's unparalleled.

One player is a great shooter, another excels at defense, another sets up plays, and yet another, though not exceptional at any one thing, has a gift for fostering teamwork and synergy.

But you also see the downside when an individual, no matter how talented, refuses to collaborate. A prima donna who hogs the ball, or a virtuoso soloist who has no connection with their bandmates, can disrupt the group's performance.

However, the most common issue isn't selfishness - it's conformity.

Too often, members of a group merge into an undifferentiated mass, following the momentum of the majority. No one stands out. No one brings their unique talents. Instead, they blend together, creating a bland "smoothie" of humanity.

We see this on social media, where groups coalesce around shared viewpoints, reinforcing their beliefs and becoming increasingly rigid over time. Or in political groups, where even slight disagreement is treated as a betrayal.

The key to a successful group isn't blind conformity - it is individual members bringing their unique strengths while still working toward a common goal.

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The Strength of Human Cooperation

Our ability to communicate and work together has allowed us to populate every corner of the Earth. No other species does this as effectively.

Chimpanzees, our closest living relatives, may appear to cooperate when hunting, but in reality, they're acting in self-interest. If one catches prey, they'll eat as much as possible before the others arrive. If one is injured, the rest will leave them behind.

By contrast, humans have an incredible capacity for teamwork. But we often fail to reach our full potential.

So what brings out the worst in groups - and what brings out the best?

The Worst

  • Mob mentality: When people surrender their individual moral agency to a group, they can behave in ways they never would alone. Riots, destruction, and even violence can result.
  • Groupthink: When a group's members all share the same views, those views become increasingly rigid. If dissent is discouraged, the group ceases to learn and grow - sometimes with disastrous consequences.
  • Social loafing: In group projects, some people inevitably do less work, assuming others will pick up the slack. The antidote? Individual accountability. When each person's contribution is measured separately, overall performance improves.
  • The tragedy of the commons: When resources are shared, they are often misused. For example, when grazing land is communally owned, people may let their herds overgraze, depleting the land. By contrast, when resources are privately owned, they tend to be managed more responsibly.
  • Information loss: In group discussions, individuals often withhold valuable information - whether out of fear of ridicule or a desire to avoid conflict. As a result, decisions are based on what's commonly known rather than on the full breadth of available knowledge.
  • Collective brain fog: Brainstorming sessions may seem productive, but research shows people generate better ideas when working alone first, then sharing their insights later.

The Best

  • Accountability: When people are held responsible for their actions, they perform better. Individual accountability counteracts many of the worst tendencies of group dynamics.
  • Division of labor: The most effective teams leverage the unique strengths of each member. The assembly line is a prime example - rather than requiring one person to master multiple skills, many people each become highly proficient in a specialized role.

The bottom line? Groups function at their best when individuals bring their unique skills, knowledge, and creativity to the table - while still working together toward a shared goal.

The best teams aren't made up of people who think and act alike. They are made up of strong individuals who complement one another, creating something far greater than the sum of their parts.

Be well,

Joel

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Joel F. Wade, Ph.D., is the author of The Virtue of Happiness and Mastering Happiness, plus his new courses, Mastering Emotions, Moods and Reactions and A Master's Course in Happiness. He is also the host of The Mastering Happiness Podcast. He is a marriage and family therapist and life coach who works with people around the world via phone and video. You can get a FREE Learning Optimism e-course if you sign up at his website, www.drjoelwade.com.

His new course Mastering Emotions, Moods and Reactions can help you with this part of your life in much greater detail, with deep understanding and practical skills for mastering these systems and living well. And now you can purchase the workbook for this course separately for $29.95 plus shipping.

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