Saturday, October 28, 2023

Opinion Today: This is what keeps my eco-anxiety in check

Picking up trash is a salve for my worrying over climate change and ecological catastrophe.

Instead of blowing up a plastics factory, I go and gather garbage by myself most days. And occasionally something will occur that happily disproves my dim view of humanity.

Piotr Chalimoniuk/Getty Images

Whenever I wonder if, given the scale of the environmental carnage we cause as a species, an individual's actions can possibly be meaningful, I often think of David Buckel.

You probably don't know who Buckel was, which is a point in the "individual actions are futile" column. A prominent L.G.B.T.-rights lawyer, Buckel was as responsible as almost anyone else for making gay marriage the law of the land. Then, in 2018, he set himself on fire in a park in Brooklyn to protest inaction on climate change.

It was a shocking act, which was obviously what Buckel intended. But even in the midst of doing something most of us can't conceive, he behaved in a rational, meticulous way — he left his ID nearby, allowing his body to be readily identified; formed a circle of dirt around himself, preventing the flames from spreading; and so on.

This duality is something I recognize in my own feelings and behavior, particularly with regard to the environment, the moral rights of animals, and other subjects. On the very same day, I can write a measured guest essay about my habit of picking up garbage, in the hope that it might inspire others to environmental action, and also find myself incoherent with grief and fury.

The "incoherent" part is the reason you're reading this essay instead of an altogether different, darker one. What I feel in those moments can't be expressed in language; believe me, I've tried. Anything I write can only ever be half of the story; for the other half, we need to look back at the mute testimony of what David Buckel did to himself on that April morning in 2018.

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